Long Bank Holiday weekends, Valentines Day, family vacations and key social events can often appear to be cosy twosome or family arrangements and in those times being single can feel especially lonely and unloved.
The fact that the days and weeks post-Christmas and vacations are two of the busiest times of the year for divorce lawyers can do little to offer comfort or alleviate the loneliness and feel that we’re missing out on something special. Sometimes we can sigh and feel that we really don’t want to be single any more.
– Many men and women who don’t need to be single choose to join online dating sites and these can be an efficient way of finding someone with similar tastes and pursuits that fits our criteria. These sites often provide good practical advice when making their introductions. For example, be careful how much personal information you disclose and restrict a first meeting to an hour so that neither person feels trapped for an indefinite time period. If you hit it off your date can last as long as you like.
Trust your gut instincts if something feels wrong and arrange for the first meeting to be in a public location. An increasing number of people use these sites successfully, but it’s still a good idea to tell a friend where you are going and maybe get them to call you after an hour to make certain you’re okay.
– Accept if friends, coworkers or somebody in your circle offers to introduce you to someone they know. The person may be a good match for you so why not agree to meet them. Even if nothing comes of it you have met someone new and done something different. Being able to mix and talk to new people is an important skill that can be quickly lost if we are out of practice and have not dated for a while.
– Manage your own expectations. It might be exciting if fireworks go off when we meet somebody for the first time, but do not invest all your hopes and dreams in a new relationship from the outset. Having a pleasant couple hours over coffee, lunch or a walk can be a great way to initially meet somebody and might result in you making a special new friend even if they don’t turn into a lover.
Be proactive and get on mailing lists for what’s happening locally. Then you can organise trips to shows, exhibitions and events. Join in if others do the exact same and encourage you to join them. Circulate regularly so that you’re adding to a network of contacts whilst having a good social life and keeping in touch with what’s happening around you.
– Do things you enjoy. Volunteering, joining a class, walking group or undertaking an activity you like keeps you occupied and also enables you to mix and meet with those who have similar interests to yourself. Enjoy meeting, sharing tasks, becoming friends and slowly you will develop a loving relationship with someone you’ve already established a fun connection with.
– Don’t try too hard. Relax and be yourself. And remember that being single isn’t the end of the world! Lots of people in unhappy relationships no doubt envy you your freedom and ability to do whatever you want whenever you select.
Appreciate every stage of life and enjoy the opportunities that come your way. Single or partnered, every situation has its advantages and disadvantages. Being comfortable with yourself and your life takes the pressure off finding a new partner and frequently leads to a new connection coming your way when you least expect it to.